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Author Topic: Why the nice guy never gets the girl  (Read 4641 times)

Offline Dnee Chan

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #15 on: May 25, 2008, 12:12:19 AM »
My Opinion because most of nice guys is not talkactive like Jerk do, for eaxctly not all girl demand Good looking or handsome guy but if they like You then they dont have any reason for it  :sry

Offline DJAffinity

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #16 on: May 25, 2008, 01:48:40 AM »
Quote from: "Fanny"
yes, it's all down to confidence.

but nowadays, i guess its all about the cash and the fun factor that the guy can provide nowadays for the girl. I'm just really sad that most girls are not looking at the broad picture and are just living for the moment.

sadly, i can attribute the above to the youth of Japan -_-         
Dont worry, You're cute enough! LOL!!!

I dunno whether this is part of topic or what. Girls are very emotionally people, in which they wanted love. Bad guys are thrilling and they had alot of love, but they dont last long. For a Good guy, well, they're not really thrilling but, they are very loving too, so mostly they will too may last long.

Offline bradman

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #17 on: May 25, 2008, 12:21:40 PM »
Quote from: "DJAffinity"
Quote from: "Fanny"
yes, it's all down to confidence.

but nowadays, i guess its all about the cash and the fun factor that the guy can provide nowadays for the girl. I'm just really sad that most girls are not looking at the broad picture and are just living for the moment.

sadly, i can attribute the above to the youth of Japan -_-         
Dont worry, You're cute enough! LOL!!!

I dunno whether this is part of topic or what. Girls are very emotionally people, in which they wanted love. Bad guys are thrilling and they had alot of love, but they dont last long. For a Good guy, well, they're not really thrilling but, they are very loving too, so mostly they will too may last long.
i totally agree on that one :good 110%  :hee

Offline cherii

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #18 on: May 25, 2008, 03:01:51 PM »
Haha...don't worry Fanny. If there was someone like you around here I'd go out with him. ^^;; Eh...*ahem* yeah, what I said before. Cocky guys and I don't get along very well. My best friend goes out with guys PURELY on personality. Seriously, I'll upload a photo of her ex-boyfriend one day.

Heh...but then they turn out to be jerks anyways.

What Nat said. Guys who play guitar (or any instrument...) = awesome. Of course, they've got to have a good personality too, and look decent. (lol...facial hair or long hair is a no no for me)

Potentially racist/offensive comment
Around my school, the Lebanese girls and some other races...they go with the guys with confidence...who talk big, are try-hards, you know the type. It's weird, because a lot of those guys are UGGGGGLY
End potentially racist/offensive comment

When a guy/s in a car speed past our school with music playing like its nobodies business, we all say "What losers!"...because they're usually teens who have skipped school to try and impress us. (girls school...remember that, people)

Offline Fanny

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #19 on: May 25, 2008, 09:17:30 PM »
^erm well, thank you for your comment haha.

looking back at the_chap's post, yeah, i think for us guys, keep our options open. no point wishing for the perfect girl to come running along into your arms and both of you walking off into the sunsets. that only happens in movies, not in life ><

so here comes the old cliche: just be yourself. honestly, dont give a damn if a girl thinks you're boring or not of her type. So be it. Just go find someone else.

Offline rubberduck

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #20 on: May 25, 2008, 10:05:11 PM »
Ooo.. Interesting thread.

I can't add much I'm afraid, since I've been single for quite some time..

I think it is important to have confidence in yourself, inwards confidence.. Outwards confidence makes people look like they stand in front of a mirror kissing their biceps..

There's an interesting book called 'How to Talk to Anyone' which has great tips for talking to well, anyone. The most important things are your posture and eye-contact. The ability to look someone straight in the eye and confidently say what you want to, is a skill.

It also goes as far as talking about minute details like the how to shake hand, how to know what to talk about and how to make your smile have a huge impact.

So confidence is the key, and knowing how to relate to a person and show that you are interested in who they are.

Offline JustAnotherYUILover

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #21 on: May 28, 2008, 02:06:39 PM »
Forrest Gump got the girl and he was a nice guy.

But anyway aside from the jokes, who can actually even say that this thread's main thesis is factual.

I mean how many "nice" guys out there tell the world they got the girl if they do. I would continue on but it's late.

Offline rubberduck

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #22 on: May 28, 2008, 05:28:37 PM »
I think the basis of this thread is a myth.. It's an idea that was created by guys with no confidence. They make themselves believe that "confidence" is the same as arrogance, and in doing so, reduce their own confidence even further.

Offline Sid

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #23 on: May 28, 2008, 07:22:31 PM »
Quote from: "rubberduck"
I think the basis of this thread is a myth.. It's an idea that was created by guys with no confidence. They make themselves believe that "confidence" is the same as arrogance, and in doing so, reduce their own confidence even further.
I really don't appreciate this comment rubberduck...you yourself are creating a myth by thinking that non-confident guys are creating this thread just to make themselves feel sorry for themselves and lower their own confidence

I actively talk to women about their problems all the time...and I some times end up disucssing this topic of nice guy and jerks...it's a factual and active and interesting thing going around...well at least in California of the U.S...but I do regret the way I presented this topic...I seemed to have created the notion that the nice guy NEVER EVER gets the girl or NEVER EVER gets married...I do know plenty of nice guys in great relationships and marriages...and I believe that these are the best  out there...but I still often see girls falling for jerks and getting into bad and unnecessary relationships...and it pains me...because nice guys are just often left out and it makes me curious as to why girls would fall into such tendencies. AT LEAST 90% of women I personally know fall into this falling for jerk tendacies at SOME point of their life...a lot get over this and move...and a lot stick with this tendacy and get into bad relationships


On the FORREST GUMP note...it's nice that he got the girl in the end...AFTER...she used Forrest Gump to her advantage, got into abusive relationships with JERKS, did drugs, and had a kid in which she didn't tell forrest about UNTIL she knew she was going to die of AIDs...if anything...the movie is trying to tell us that FORREST THE NICE GUY has ALWAYS BEEN WILLING TO BE THERE FOR HER...but SHE DIDN'T RETURN THE FAVOR...UNTIL THE VERY END when she finally realized her bad habits and that how forrest was the real good guy for her


On the confidence note...I definitely believe it is a major reason why girls fall for jerks...I guess the BEST guy is the nice guy who is confident but not overly confident (which consist of all the jerks)...but I have a lot girls often telling me that it's also because jerks are more risky, flirtatious, and exciting that they go the for the jerks

Offline rubberduck

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #24 on: May 28, 2008, 11:53:08 PM »
Quote from: "Sid"
Quote from: "rubberduck"
I think the basis of this thread is a myth.. It's an idea that was created by guys with no confidence. They make themselves believe that "confidence" is the same as arrogance, and in doing so, reduce their own confidence even further.
I really don't appreciate this comment rubberduck...you yourself are creating a myth by thinking that non-confident guys are creating this thread just to make themselves feel sorry for themselves and lower their own confidence
I'm curious then, if it's not just guys with low self-confidence who are complaining about this, then who else is? It's certainly not the self-confident guy with the beautiful girlfriend. The girls can help themselves by improving their taste, but that comes through experience.

Quote
but I have a lot girls often telling me that it's also because jerks are more risky, flirtatious, and exciting that they go the for the jerks
Isn't this over confidence? If you rule out the "risky" and "flirtatious", what's left? Guys who don't stop talking about themselves?

Quote
because nice guys are just often left out and it makes me curious as to why girls would fall into such tendencies
Nice guys are being left out because they often lack the confidence to stand up and be noticed for fear of being rejected.

I never said that the nice guy NEVER EVER gets the girl.. I was merely pointing out that it is all in the mind, and that if a nice guy has the courage to make his feeling known and put in the effort to woo a girl, then he has confidence in himself and his ability to get what he wants.

Yellow Fever explains all..

Just a Nice Guy also by Wong Fu

For the record, I meant no offense in my previous post. Apologies if it was taken the wrong way.

Offline JustAnotherYUILover

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2008, 08:00:54 AM »
@Sid: The fact that you dive into your first person speech right after stating that can already show that there must be something upsetting you in particular. Please let's not make the thread so personal because you clearly have the topic as "Why the nice guy never gets the girl" not "Why I, (Fill in the blank) can never get the girl".

Okay I didn't mean for my comment to sound so trashy but in order for comments to be given to such a vague topic, the topic must recieve vague answers.

Two throwing off points in this topic can already be seen in this title:

Why the "nice" guy never gets "the" girl.

Define nice and define the and then maybe the topic would be more clearly presented.

Okay now here's my input if that wasn't enough. Yes I know. I'm such a jerk face. Don't worry about it. It's only one sentence.

The nice guy never gets the girl because the girl was never "the" girl.

Offline Sid

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2008, 08:14:27 AM »
LOL on the Yellow Fever link...that was shot on my campus (UCSD)...and my roommate is connected with some of the cast members...lol...good one

Thing is...let me use myself as an example...I've liked three girls in my life so far to the point I wanted to date them...the first girl...I was too nervous to ask her out and she told me a few years later that she liked me...so that was just stupid on my part...Second girl I liked...I pursued for over 5 years...I got owned so badly...I played the confident nice guy...and a lot of people thought that we should be together...but despite all this time being friends...she just suddenly falls for some jerk that makes her cry and treats her like crap...and I'm here with the lower end of the stick listening to all this bs that this guy is putting her through...and THEN...I have her best friend telling me "yeah Sid, she's freakin stupid for falling for this jerk...I would never do that..."...couple of months later SHE falls for a jerk...and SHE comes aiming to me "Yeah Sid I take that back I understand her situation with the jerk thing"...and I'm just like WHAT THE HECK? What's so appealing about jerks? AND THEN my first crush after graduating high school with her...gets herself pregnant for her jerk boyfriend...and I'm just like...O gosh...and then I'm thinking...okay...these are JUST three girls maybe all the other girls are different...but NO...my cousins fall for jerks...over half the girls in my class fall for jerks...my third and recent crush falls for a jerk and can't stop talking about him or thinking about him...and here I am being the guy who is being there for her...and here I am being the guy who is trying to make her feel better...

and you know what it boils down to for me? My conclusion is that nice guys are boring compared to jerks...I know nice guys that are confident, flirtatious and what not, but a lot of them simply are single because first of all...a nice guy is nice to EVERYONE...so a girl doesn't feel that much more special...second the nice guy is more appealing as a talking box...the nice guy is the guy that'll be there for her...but the JERK? He might be gone and you might never have this chance again...therefore the girl of course should fall for the jerk...nice guy is a good back up plan...third, being nice simply doesn't seem good enough to attract a lot girls...guys have to be more exclusive with who they are nice to...I guess that's why they have all these pick-up shows and people and books like "The Game" that try to dissect the methods of attracting women...but then again I can be ALL wrong...but it's just what I've observed

Confidence definitely is a factor...but if a girl had a choice between the confident nice guy and the confident jerk...the confident jerk might seem a little more appealing...at least that's what I think...based on what I've seen...

but I must say...if there are a bunch of girls falling for jerks...then NICE GUY SHOULDN'T EVEN BOTHER being with them anyway...a nice guy should be patient and wait for a girl who is willing to accept him for WHO HE IS  :good

It just makes me often interested when I often witness girls falling for jerks

I really feel like I'm putting down the female gender...lol...I should start a forum poking at the guys

Offline Sid

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #27 on: May 29, 2008, 08:16:24 AM »
Quote from: "JustAnotherYUILover"
@Sid: The fact that you dive into your first person speech right after stating that can already show that there must be something upsetting you in particular. Please let's not make the thread so personal because you clearly have the topic as "Why the nice guy never gets the girl" not "Why I, (Fill in the blank) can never get the girl".

Okay I didn't mean for my comment to sound so trashy but in order for comments to be given to such a vague topic, the topic must recieve vague answers.

Two throwing off points in this topic can already be seen in this title:

Why the "nice" guy never gets "the" girl.

Define nice and define the and then maybe the topic would be more clearly presented.

Okay now here's my input if that wasn't enough. Yes I know. I'm such a jerk face. Don't worry about it. It's only one sentence.

The nice guy never gets the girl because the girl was never "the" girl.
mmm...well...I guess a lot of nice guys do end up getting THE girl...I guess the question I should ask is...why do girls often fall for jerks?

Like lets go back to the forrest gump analogy that you brought up earlier...what was so more attractive to jenny about those stupid guys than forrest himself? Jenny does end up being with Forrest...but why she bother with all those jerks throughout the movie by leaving forrest all to himself? What was attractive about them?

Offline Fanny

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #28 on: May 29, 2008, 08:44:47 AM »
^try to refrain from double posting thanks...

i think you've answered your own question there. Girls fall for jerks because jerks provide that fun factor that nice guys can't provide. Would nice guys have fun all through the night than jerks? Would nice guys have a better social life than jerks?

i reiterate my earlier post. We cannot fully determine what makes girls fall for jerks, but we can only pity them. Why?

Most of them wanna have fun and enjoy life as it is. However, life isn't all that short teeny or young adulthood years. Life goes beyond that. So they're not looking at the BIGGER picture and trying to find a nice guy who is WILLING to look after and care for her for the rest of his life.

Now, can jerks provide that? Can they really?

Offline akuma_tsubasa

Why the nice guy never gets the girl
« Reply #29 on: May 29, 2008, 09:41:33 AM »
i think its becuz the girl is juz stupid fooled by love and always end up with the guy...haha hmm the nice guy maybe doesnt take as much love as the jerk ones haha iono those stories =P